Recruiting: A Real-World Guide for Coaches and Parents

Recruiting can get stressful fast.

For a lot of families, it starts with excitement. A player has a strong season, someone mentions playing in college, and suddenly everyone is talking about highlight videos, camps, emails, showcases, and scholarships. Then the pressure creeps in. Parents feel like they’re behind. Athletes start comparing themselves to social media clips. Coaches get pulled into questions about timelines, exposure, and what the “right next step” is.

That’s usually when it helps to slow the whole thing down and reframe it.

Recruiting is not one big moment. For most athletes, it’s a process. A long one. A layered one. And the families who handle it best are usually the ones who stop treating it like a mystery and start treating it like a system.

That system matters because most athletes won’t be “automatically found.” The reality for many families is that recruiting takes organized effort over time: building a clear player profile, keeping film updated, reaching out consistently, following up, and comparing schools based on fit. When coaches and parents understand that early, the process gets a lot less emotional and a lot more productive.

At the end of this article I've added my personal recomendation for a tool that will give your athlete a broader reach, more looks and an extremly simpler process that doing things on your own.

Start earlier than you think, so you don’t recruit in panic mode

One of the biggest recruiting mistakes families make is waiting until they feel urgency. They wait until junior year is flying by, or until senior year starts, and then everything feels high-stakes. Every unanswered email feels personal. Every camp feels “must attend.” Every conversation feels like a decision point.

A better approach is to start building the process before it becomes urgent.

A practical timeline is to begin organizing during sophomore year, build more active communication in junior year, and use senior year to narrow options and make a thoughtful decision. For most athletes, recruiting works more like a 2–3 year process than a one-month sprint.

That timeline gives families something they don’t realize they need until it’s gone: choice.

When you start earlier, you have time to learn what level actually fits the athlete, time to improve communication, and time to build real conversations with schools. When you start late, families often end up reacting instead of planning. Coaches can be a huge help here by reminding parents that recruiting is not about being “late” or “early” compared to social media—it’s about building enough runway to make smart decisions.

Talent matters, but organization and communication move recruiting forward

A lot of families spend nearly all their energy on training and competition, which makes sense. Development still matters most. But recruiting also has an admin side, and that’s where many athletes lose momentum.

College coaches are busy. They need clarity quickly. If they can’t figure out who the athlete is, what position they play, what level they might fit, and where to watch film in under a minute, the athlete is creating friction.

The athletes who make recruiting easier on coaches tend to stand out more. A simple, clean “home base” helps a lot—a single place with the athlete’s bio, position, measurables, stats, schedule, contact info, highlights, and full-game links. When everything is organized, outreach gets easier, follow-up gets cleaner, and coaches can evaluate faster.

This is a great role for parents and coaches to support without taking over. Parents can help organize information and keep things updated. Coaches can help the athlete understand what really matters for their level and position. But the athlete should still know what’s on their profile and be able to speak for themselves. Recruiting is part sports process and part life skill, and communication is a big part of what coaches are evaluating.

Film is important, but context is what helps coaches trust what they see

Most families understand that film matters. Where they get tripped up is assuming a highlight reel is the whole story.

Highlights are useful because they give coaches a quick snapshot. But coaches also want context. They want to see how the athlete moves when they don’t have the ball, how they respond after mistakes, what their pace looks like, how they compete, and how consistent they are in real game situations. That’s why a smart recruiting setup includes both a concise highlight reel and full-game footage. A short highlight reel in the 60–90 second range is a strong starting point, but full games help coaches evaluate fit with much more confidence.

Parents can really help here by filming consistently and keeping clips organized. Coaches can help athletes understand which clips actually matter for recruiting, not just what looks flashy. Even basic labels on clips can help coaches evaluate faster because they provide game context instead of random moments.

The bigger point is consistency. Film should be updated regularly, not only after a great weekend. Recruiting is ongoing, and coaches want to see how an athlete is progressing now.

The part families underestimate most is the outreach volume

This is where recruiting gets real.

A lot of athletes still assume that if they’re good enough, coaches will just find them. That can happen for a small percentage of nationally visible players, but for most athletes, families need to create visibility through outreach. And one of the hardest things to accept is that silence early in the process is normal.

It can take dozens of emails before the first response, and it may take hundreds of emails over time to build enough real conversations to create options. A helpful benchmark is aiming for 10–15 schools in active conversation, not just one or two “dream schools.”

That’s why recruiting works best when families build a weekly rhythm instead of sending a few emails and waiting. Personalized emails, recruiting forms, and respectful follow-ups create momentum. The athlete should send the core communication whenever possible, because college coaches generally want to hear directly from the athlete. Parents can support by editing, tracking, and helping with organization, but they should avoid replacing the athlete’s voice.

For coaches, this is an important conversation to have with families: no response does not always mean no interest. Timing matters, roster needs matter, and follow-up matters. Many families drop out of the process too soon because they interpret silence as final.

Recruiting should be built around fit, not logos

One of the healthiest shifts parents and coaches can make is moving the athlete away from “name chasing” and toward fit.

A good recruiting outcome is not simply getting an offer. It’s finding a school and program that fit the athlete’s life and future—athletically, academically, financially, and personally. That means looking honestly at level fit, role opportunity, program culture, majors, support systems, distance from home, and cost.

Families often make better decisions when they start broad and narrow with purpose. Coaches can help by being honest about level fit and helping athletes focus on where they can realistically compete and grow. Recruiting gets a lot less stressful when it stops being about “best logo” and becomes about “best next step.”

Build a recruiting budget early, including service costs

This is the section a lot of families skip, and it’s a mistake.

Recruiting doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It sits on top of the normal cost of youth sports, which is already high. Aspen Institute Project Play reported that the average U.S. sports family spent $1,016 on a child’s primary sport in 2024, and nearly $1,500 total when other sports are included.

On top of that, recruiting adds its own costs: eligibility registration, travel for visits, camps/showcases, film support, and sometimes recruiting platforms or consulting services. The NCAA also lists current Eligibility Center certification fees at $110 for domestic students and $170 for international students (with fee waivers available for eligible students).

Families should also plan for recruiting-service spending. A practical way to budget is in tiers:

• Low-cost tool route: roughly $180–$360/year

• Mid-tier/premium platform route: roughly $400–$1,200/year

• High-touch recruiting services: often higher and quote-based, with pricing that can be less transparent

Those ranges are useful budgeting guardrails because the market is all over the place. Some platforms offer free profiles and paid upgrades (for example, Stack Athlete lists free and paid monthly plans starting at $22.50/month), while others offer tiered memberships or customized recruiting support.

The key is not “don’t spend.” The key is “spend on purpose.” Choose tools and events that match the athlete’s likely level and school list. If a family doesn’t set a recruiting budget early, it’s easy to overspend on stress. Stick around my recomendation is at the end.

Scholarships and expectations need to be grounded from the start

This is one of the most important conversations coaches and parents can have, because it can either create unnecessary pressure or create clarity.

The NCAA recruiting fact sheet notes that only about 2% of high school athletes are awarded athletics scholarships to compete in college. That’s a useful reality check—not to discourage families, but to keep the goal of recruiting in the right place.

A successful recruiting process is not just “getting scholarship money.” It’s finding a strong fit and giving the athlete a real opportunity to keep playing while families focus only on scholarship outcomes, every part of the process gets heavier than it needs to be. When they focus on fit and development, they tend to make better decisions and athletes usually handle the process with more confidence.

The Coaching Dad Recommendation:

Athlete Narrative

If your family wants to make the recruiting process feel less chaotic, Athlete Narrative is a strong recommendation that I love! What stands out is how clearly it supports both sides of the process: it helps athletes stay visible and organized, while also giving parents a better way to stay informed without adding pressure.

For athletes, the biggest value is speed and simplicity. Athlete Narrative highlights a quick-build Radar Page (profile) where athletes can share highlights, stats, grades, and key info in one place, plus tools for school research and coach outreach. They also promote fast communication features like personalized coach emails in under 60 seconds and AI support, which can help athletes stay consistent with outreach instead of putting it off. (athletenarrative.com)

For parents, the value is peace of mind and visibility. Their messaging consistently emphasizes “Parent-Approved Efficiency,” with a focus on saving time, reducing stress, and helping families stay aligned during recruiting. You can also set up weekly parent updates, which is a helpful benefit for families who want to support the process without hovering over every step. (athletenarrative.com)

A big bonus for families following The Coaching Dad: you can access Athlete Narrative at a 40% discount—just $15/month. That’s a fraction of the cost compared to many recruiting services on the market, while still giving families a premium, athlete-first experience.